Data · Lived Experience · No Drama

The pool
has pee in it.
Here's the proof.

Why midlife dating is harder than anyone admits — especially for Black women — and what the data, history, and your own stories confirm. No man-bashing. No fairy tales. Just reality, and what we do with it.

30% of Black Americans are currently married
61% were married in 1960
~50% of Black adults are single — highest of any group
of Black college degrees earned by women
What this is

Your stories are not outliers.
They're data.

The midlife dating experience — especially for Black women — is shaped less by individual failure and more by structural mismatch: education gaps, economic precarity, historic harm to Black families, gamified apps, and polarized gender narratives.

The environment produces fewer viable long-term matches, ambiguous courtship norms, conflicting expectations about money and "equally yoked," and high emotional risk with low clarity and accountability.

This is not a space for complaining or man-bashing. It is a space for understanding — the system, the patterns, and the role we each play — so we can navigate with more intention and less confusion.

See What's Available
"Exploring what it really means to look for love in midlife as a Black woman — through data, history, and the things we think but don't say out loud."
Who this is for: Black women in midlife who are dating, recently divorced, long-term single, or just done pretending the system is neutral. And anyone who wants to understand the structural forces — not just the individual behavior — shaping modern partnership.
The Numbers

The structural reality, by the data

These are not opinions. They are why the math is hard before you even open an app.

↓50%

Black marriage rates halved since 1960

Around 61% of Black adults were married in 1960. Today it's roughly 30–32%. Not a personal trend — a structural collapse across decades.

40%

Women's college attainment vs. 26% for men

The largest gender education gap of any racial group. "Equally yoked" is not a preferences problem. It is a structural math problem.

Biased

Dating apps are not neutral platforms

Studies show Black women receive fewer messages and matches than white women. The algorithm shapes the pool before you ever swipe.

40%+

Black marriages end in divorce

Higher than the national average. The pool of midlife re-entrants includes real experience — and real unresolved trauma, financial stress, and cynicism.

Questions People Are Actually Asking

Real questions. Data-backed answers.

Why is dating so hard for Black women in midlife?
The difficulty isn't personal failure — it's structural. Only about 30% of Black Americans are currently married, down from 61% in 1960. Education gaps, economic inequality, mass incarceration, and algorithmically biased dating apps have all shrunk the available pool of compatible partners, especially for college-educated Black women over 40.
Do dating apps discriminate against Black women?
Studies of app behavior consistently show Black women receive fewer messages and matches than white women and many other groups. Algorithmic design and user-level racial bias both contribute. The pool is not neutral — it's curated in ways that affect Black women's visibility and options before any match is even possible.
What does "equally yoked" really mean in 2026?
Black women earn roughly 38–40% of bachelor's degrees within the Black community, compared to about 25–27% for Black men — the largest gender education gap of any racial group. When Black women seek partners with similar education, income, and lifestyle, the structural math produces a very small pool. This isn't about standards being too high. It's about supply and systemic inequality.
Why do good first dates lead nowhere?
Early dates filter for physical attraction, charm, and shared cultural references — none of which predict long-term compatibility. The filters that matter most — values alignment, emotional capacity, readiness, love language match — only surface over multiple dates. Noticing the gap between potential and present behavior is not "too picky." It's accurate reading.
Is "friendship first" a real strategy or just avoidance?
Often both. The language is slow, intentional, building a real foundation. The behavior frequently includes early physical expectations, emotional access requests, and loyalty tests — without the accountability or investment that actual friendship requires. "Friendship" is sometimes used as a socially acceptable container for romantic and sexual pursuit while keeping commitment at arm's length.
40

The 40

Forty minutes. Your situation, your patterns, your decisions. No script, no agenda — just a real conversation with a certified sexologist, life strategist, and identity coach who is also, personally, navigating this terrain.

Not therapy. Not a sales call. A clarity session with someone who understands the system and will be honest with you about what she sees.

Book The 40 · $175
Work With G Stone

Resources to help you navigate with clarity

Data-informed, experience-grounded, professionally developed. No performance, no drama.

Digital Guide
The Midlife Dating Reality Check
$37
Instant download · Self-paced

The structural landscape, the patterns to watch for, and a self-assessment to help you understand the role you play in all of it. The system explained, and then the mirror — with reflection prompts and write-in space throughout.

Get the Guide
1:1 Session
The 40
$175
40 minutes · Certified Sexologist + Life Strategist

Your situation, your patterns, your decisions. One focused conversation with someone who understands the data, the dynamics, and what it actually feels like to be in the pool right now.

Book The 40

You're not bad at picking.
The system is contaminated.
Let's talk about both.

Follow along for the data points, the observations, and the parts that are uncomfortably funny because they're true.

Follow G Stone